Q&A

Why did my sister take care of Our Mother?

Why did my sister take care of Our Mother?

He lived for another four years during which time he went through the “spend down” and had just qualified for Medicaid when he passed away. 2. My sister has continued to live with our mother whose condition has deteriorated to the point we no longer feel she can live at home and our sister is no longer able to care for her alone.

When does my sister take over my mother?

While the brother and his wife do work daily, my sister/husband should take her over when they are home just to get her out. But they complain about that. Just recently, I surprisingly went to visit my mother on Thanksgiving Day, without telling them – although my brother knew.

Are there any other sisters that live with their parents?

I have two other sisters. My brother and sisters who have not lived with our mother believe that the sister who has lived with her does not deserve the house. They believe that she lived with our parents for ten years rent free and that offsets any right to the house or compensation.

Why does my sister have power of attorney?

We have all been quite concern for a very very long time, but because she is the agent/power of attorney since I suppose 1999, our hands are tied. All mother does while living with my sister is stay in bed all day and night. They do not take her out. My sister does work during the weekday, but her husband is retired and is at home all day.

Why are there sibling problems after Mom’s death?

The division of assets can be thorny — especially all siblings do not receive equal amounts, according to estate attorney Michael Dribin, as cited in “Siblings Scorned” on the website Private Wealth 2. Arguments occur because you can equate the amount you receive with the amount of love your mother had for each of you.

He lived for another four years during which time he went through the “spend down” and had just qualified for Medicaid when he passed away. 2. My sister has continued to live with our mother whose condition has deteriorated to the point we no longer feel she can live at home and our sister is no longer able to care for her alone.

Can a sibling take care of an ailing parent?

Although it’s rare for siblings to share parent care equally, it’s a family responsibility, says Russo. Not treating it as such “will haunt you” later on, she says. Even if you live far away from your ailing parent, you can still help out.

What happens when your mother gives your sibling power of attorney?

That conflict might continue if your mother gave the caretaker sibling power of attorney over her affairs and finances 1. Claims of “Mother loved you best” or “You turned her against us” can occur if you feel the caregiving sibling had a greater influence over the sale of the family home when your mother moved to a retirement home or hospice care.

How much does it cost to take care of a sister?

The cost impact of caregiving on the individual caregiver in terms of lost wages and Social Security benefits equates to around $324,044 for a woman and $303,880 for a man. Your sister may also be entitled to reimbursements.

What should I do with my mother’s house?

Two options remain: Appeal to your mother to (a) transfer the property under the Medicaid gift allowance or (b) put it in a living trust for your sister that would become irrevocable after her death. Monks has an option (c). You and your sister could assign your interest in the house to your caregiving sister during probate.

What to do if your sister takes care of your mother?

Monks has an option (c). You and your sister could assign your interest in the house to your caregiving sister during probate. “Both sisters would also be free to make an argument to their siblings that they should also assign their inheritance to the caregiver,” he said.

I have two other sisters. My brother and sisters who have not lived with our mother believe that the sister who has lived with her does not deserve the house. They believe that she lived with our parents for ten years rent free and that offsets any right to the house or compensation.

How much money did my sister steal from my mother?

We are talking about $20,000 or so in cash and about $15,000 or so in personal property. Mother and I went to the lawyer who had drawn up the POA I had from last year today and had a new one drawn up. Mother revoked sisters POA a month ago.

Why did my sister use my mother’s bank card?

Also, I have evidence that my mother’s bank card was used several times after her death. Your sister does not seem to have been transparent in her dealings with you. She may have acted to purposely defraud you, thinking you were out of the way, or else circumstances may have meant that things got out of control and now she can’t admit it.

When did my mother leave me the House?

Three years ago, my mother died suddenly, and I inherited her home and all its contents. The day after she died, one of my brothers threatened to sue me for his share of the inheritance.

What did my mother do after she died?

A lawyer friend told me to ignore their threats and to tell them I would honor her will. My mother’s lawyer, who drew up the will, agreed with that advice. After her death, I moved into her home and slowly began fixing it; so many things needed work.

Where did my sister live for 10 years?

We have a family dispute regarding a sister who has lived with and cared for our elderly and failing parents for nearly 10 years. She moved in with them in Oklahoma City following a divorce and loss of her job in another city. 1.

We have a family dispute regarding a sister who has lived with and cared for our elderly and failing parents for nearly 10 years. She moved in with them in Oklahoma City following a divorce and loss of her job in another city. 1.

When did I take care of my mom?

My mom was upset about this, and asked me to be a joint owner on her savings account in 2013, after we met with her attorney. Since then, I cared for her in our house and even responsibly managed her finances, which gained significant interest over the years.

How are my brothers taking care of my mother?

I also take care of my mother, I am the youngest of four. I have three older brothers and I don’t get any help from them. At one point I did ask the oldest brother to talk to the other two brothers to see if they could trade off weekends so I could have sometime for myself. He said he would take care of it, it never happened.

When did I start caring for a family member?

“Between 2004 and 2006, I was caring for [a close family member/my mother/my father/my spouse] at the end of [his/her] life. I was fortunate to have the health care skills to be effective in that difficult role.

Is the nursing home responsible for my mother’s estate?

Generally, you are not responsible, but you should review the contractual commitments you may have made when your mother was admitted to the nursing home. Your mother’s estate, if any, would be obligated on the account before any distributions are made to heirs, so you need to be cautious in dealing with your mother’s assets (again, if any)…

Generally, you are not responsible, but you should review the contractual commitments you may have made when your mother was admitted to the nursing home. Your mother’s estate, if any, would be obligated on the account before any distributions are made to heirs, so you need to be cautious in dealing with your mother’s assets (again, if any)…

How did the oldest sibling deal with the death of their mother?

After their mother passed away from breast cancer, their father couldn’t deal with the trauma and ended up taking his own life. This left the oldest sibling with their three younger siblings. “I think it was challenging – I mean, my mother’s death, although that was really hard, was expected after a while. She’d been sick for about three years.

How is my sister controlling my mother’s life?

Her attitude is very negative and bitter about taking care of Mom and yet she refuses to let us step in and bring Mom to live with us. She has put herself on Mom’s checking account and complains she needs more money to care for Mom. Mom told me that she is afraid of her.

Her attitude is very negative and bitter about taking care of Mom and yet she refuses to let us step in and bring Mom to live with us. She has put herself on Mom’s checking account and complains she needs more money to care for Mom. Mom told me that she is afraid of her.

How did my mother move into assisted living?

Over the next few hours, while I entertained my mother, they moved her belongings into a beautiful assisted living apartment, and arranged everything to replicate her home environment as much as possible. They did a fabulous job, and were exhausted from the effort.

What does an unattuned mother do to her child?

An unattuned mother will insert herself into a baby’s space, misreading her signals, intruding when the child needs to withdraw; alternatively, an emotionally unavailable mother doesn’t respond, teaching the child that she’s on her own and needs to self-protect.

When to remove a child from a mother?

Consider the environment in which the mother is raising the child. If the parent places the child in or fails to remove the child from dangerous circumstances or a dangerous environment, that may be grounds to remove the child from the parent’s custody.

What to do if an elderly parent becomes incapacitated?

Find a home care agency that’s licensed, insured and that can also provide around-the-clock care if that becomes necessary. Serving as a caregiver for an incapacitated elderly loved one is highly rewarding, but it can also be stressful and exhausting. When you need some assistance, call First In Care.

Why is grieving the mother you didn’t have key to recovering from childhood?

Why grieving the mother you didn’t have is key to recovering from childhood. “Will I ever stop feeling I was cheated of something essential?? Even at age 59, it makes me angry and my mother died over 10 years ago.” —Priscilla The road that is recovery from a childhood without a mother’s love, support, and attunement is long and complicated.

How to heal from childhood without a mother?

The road that is recovery from a childhood without a mother’s love, support, and attunement is long and complicated. One aspect of healing that is rarely touched upon is mourning the mother you needed, sought, and — yes — deserved.

Why is Annie grieving the mother you needed?

—Annie Grieving the mother you needed is impeded by both feeling unworthy of love and, more important, what I call the core conflict. This conflict is between the daughter’s growing awareness of how her mother wounded her in childhood and still does, and her continuing need for maternal love and support, even in adulthood.

How much did my sister get paid to take care of my parents?

For the last year of my Dad’s life my sister came over 5 days a week for 6 hours a day and was paid $1500 a month. I was never given any money and I also took 4 leaves of absence from work over the 14 years to care for my parents, numerous vacation days and personal days.

What did my father tell his sister when he died?

During Christmas 2012, my father told my sister and me that he had made my sister a signatory on his bank account so she could pay bills from his bank account when he died. He looked at us and said, “The rest gets split between you two.”

What happens when one of your brothers or sisters dies?

Because your brothers and sisters share your same genetic background, the death of one of them may increase your concerns about your own death. You may see implications about your own death, such as how you will die and at what age. This identification can cause you some stress later on when you reach the age at which an older sibling died.

For the last year of my Dad’s life my sister came over 5 days a week for 6 hours a day and was paid $1500 a month. I was never given any money and I also took 4 leaves of absence from work over the 14 years to care for my parents, numerous vacation days and personal days.

What did my mom do when I was at home?

When I am at home, I can choose to do what I want without being judged and without any enjoyment or relaxation spoiled. Looking back, I can see that for years my mind has been full of her demands, wants and toxic behaviour. There was no room for my own basic needs, never mind any wants, which might enrich my life.

What’s the best way to take care of a mother?

Many sons and daughters (mostly daughters) find themselves in the role of primary caretaker, whether they asked for the job or not. Often, this choice is delegated by unspoken agreement among other family members that you are “best suited to provide care for Mom”. You might work part-time, or be a stay-at-home Mom or run a home-based business.

Who was asked to take care of my late mother?

And then there’s the cultural opprobrium: While I was never asked to take care of my late mother—we had been estranged for 13 years when she became ill—I have seen people reassess me when they learn that I did not see her before she died.

Why did I take my mother in when she was dying?

“I ended up taking my mother in when she was dying after years of no contact. It looked like a noble or a caring gesture but it really wasn’t. Everyone told me that I would feel guilty if she died and I did nothing, and that swayed me. It was a nightmare for my husband, my kids, and me from start to finish.

When I am at home, I can choose to do what I want without being judged and without any enjoyment or relaxation spoiled. Looking back, I can see that for years my mind has been full of her demands, wants and toxic behaviour. There was no room for my own basic needs, never mind any wants, which might enrich my life.

Can a sibling refuse to help with elder care?

Nobody should not be forced to defend that choice. To be angry that a person declines to assist you when you alone made that decision is in my opinion emotionally immature. In the case of elder care, if there are siblings, each one can choose and communicate to the other what they are willing to do/ not do.

The cost impact of caregiving on the individual caregiver in terms of lost wages and Social Security benefits equates to around $324,044 for a woman and $303,880 for a man. Your sister may also be entitled to reimbursements.

Where can I get paid for taking care of my disabled child?

If you have a special needs/disabled child/adult you can. It’s called In Home Support Services and they don’t go by family income, Bill Gates could get it! – Shawna S. I get paid to take care of my disabled daughter through a federal SSI program administered by the state and county; it’s called IHSS. Annie A.

How old do you have to be to take care of your mother?

On average, female caregivers are 49-years-old and they look after their 60-year old mother who lives alone So, if you have found yourself in the role of caregiver to your mother, know that you are not alone. But, the first decision you need to make, is whether mom wants to remain at home or not.